Dear Abby: Struggling to Move On from First Love After 20 Years

Dear Abby: Struggling to Move On from First Love After 20 Years

Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, has been dealing with lingering emotional pain from her first love, whom she dated over 21 years ago. During their relationship, the couple shared fundamentalist religious beliefs and faced limited access to contraception. Over the years, her ex-girlfriend had several affairs, including with a minor league baseball player, a major college football player, and a divorced lawyer. Despite reconnecting 15 years later and her involvement in Christian ministry, her ex-girlfriend remained unapologetic, dismissing the affairs as "just sex."

Van Buren expressed that she had communicated the hurt these affairs caused her, but her ex-girlfriend's dismissive attitude has been a source of ongoing distress. Suggestions have been made for Van Buren to avoid dwelling on the past and to consider counseling as a means to address her unresolved feelings. The idea of hiring a private detective was also mentioned as a way to gain clarity on any sudden behavioral changes, though this approach may not be the most advisable path for healing.

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